May 2013
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starksexual:
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
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africans:
i drop a piece of weed and it fell in a spider web and the spider was like “my nigga” and we fist pounded
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flutterlings:
the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”
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plot twist: the only change yahoo makes is they make the blue half a shade darker
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sext: fist me like u tryna get the last couple pringles
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strangerearrangement:
Please tell me someone else saw Kanye’s face when the end credits were rolling on SNL. Everyone was hugging each other (mostly to say goodbye to Fred Armisen and Bill Hader) and Kanye is just there all wide eyed and confused.
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weedharvest:
advice: never leave your bed its awful
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Without music, life would be a mistake.
– Friedrich Nietzsche
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fasterfood:
half of me wants to be a really physically active person but the other half of me is like “nah son” and how can I argue with that
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I wish I’d done everything on Earth with you.
– F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (via trashtongue)
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Never explain — your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe...
– Elbert Hubbard (via ughpsh)
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amoying:
it takes two to have anal, that’s why it’s called an anus
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Life was immeasurably better once I forced myself to stop taking it seriously.
– Hunter S. Thompson (via fakeville)
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do you ever see a person you used to be friends with and you’re like “glad i got the fuck outta that one”
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If there is a God, He will have to beg my forgiveness.
– A phrase that was carved on the walls of a concentration camp cell during WWII by a Jewish prisoner (via cottonbutts)
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I think death is the most wonderful invention of life. It purges the system of...
– Steve Jobs
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flyinginafriendshipship:
what if church was called jesuscon